It all started with a simple conversation, not unlike a conversation many parents have. We had just put our three kids to bed and we were sitting staring blankly at some TV program that makes men look like babbling idiots. I turned to my wife and asked: “what’s your biggest fear?” I was just trying to make simple conversation. But it turned into far more. “Oh I don’t know, I guess growing old and not really knowing my kids, and not being able to give them what I want to give them.” She said, off the top of her head, which is what I wanted because that is the true feelings, the ones less throughout and more reactionary. The ones that reveal the innermost of us, those we seldom think about but hover in our souls waiting for permission to be released. “What about you?” she asked me.
I must admit, several things came to mind – dying a slow death at the hands of some terrible disease, my home burning to the ground only to discover there isn’t enough insurance, one of my kids dying, or my wife dying. All of these came to mind, and I thought for a minute and realized that my greatest fear was not any of these, rather it was different from all of them. Turning my head to her I said; “being an old man sitting on a porch somewhere and saying – I wish I would have . . .” that’s my greatest fear. Growing old and realizing then that I had not chased my dreams. That I had not even tried to chase them, but let them die some slow death in my soul while I was stuck in this society driven by money and greed. Yes without a doubt that is my greatest fear.
Her response I must admit surprised me. We have been married for a while, not long by many standards, but long enough for us to know the answer to these questions, at least I thought so. She responded with some tenderness in her voice, “what do you want to do, what would be the greatest regret of something you wish you would have done and didn’t do.”
“Well I guess I really want to see the world, I have often thought of buying an RV and traveling all over the US, not just visiting but actually experiencing a different culture, different people, different scenes. Just living and enjoying living, not confined by time or schedules, just living – of living while I am alive.” I worried that she would think me insane and call for that special jacket that ties in the back. But instead she began to ask questions about the dream. “Where would we go?” “Would we sell the house or rent it?” “How would we support this financially?” “What about the children’s education?” all legitimate questions that I had long devised answers to. “We would go wherever we wanted when we wanted, we could follow the seasons for north to south and east to west; from the Florida Keys to Alaska and everywhere in between one sate at a time. – I thought we would sell the house to buy the RV then pick up jobs wherever we were to make extra money and then there is always my writing, hopefully it will pick up some and that will support us. As for the education, you’re a school teacher, you could teach them.”
Susan knew then that I had given this considerable thought and, I could see by the way her forehead tensed which resembled a scowl to many but I knew it as a sure sign she was thinking - hard. “Why limit ourselves to the US, if we are going to travel, why not just buy a boat and sail the world and see the whole thing but from the water?” She said, and there it was, the beginning of our dream. I must admit that the idea of sailing the world had never crossed my mind before, probably since I have never set foot on a sail boat – unless you count the Mayflower while on vacation at Plymouth MA one summer. That night we sat up and talked for hours, about where to go, what type of boat, how we would support this, how long to be gone, all things needed to be considered. Would the children adopt our new dream? Would they adjust, would they become socially hindered by being cooped up on a boat for years at a time? But the dream was born, and the ember of the dream began to smolder in my mind.
The next morning found me at the local mega book store where I bought magazines on sailing, Cruising World, Sail, Blue Ocean Navigator, Latitudes and Attitudes, Everything I could find on cruising, living aboard, ocean passages, islands, travels, I bought books that began to litter my nightstand, adventures of families, individuals, Joshua Slocum, Liza Copeland, Fatty Goodlander, book after book, reading, surfing the net looking, honestly for reasons not to do this.
I devised a list of obstacles that would have to be overcome in order to live this dream; Buying a boat – which boat and why, learning to sail, school requirements for the kids, medical insurance, income while gone, what will our families think, what will our friends think? Will we sell the house or rent? Do we need a home port? What about income taxes, customs requirements, international law? Questions of storms, pirates, provisioning, navigating knowledge, electronics, orienteering, etc. filled my page of obstacles. I then made a list of reasons to do it – it was a far shorter list; to show the children the world, to draw closer as a family, to demonstrate living your dreams not merely talking about them, cultural exposure, adventure, self-esteem, self-reliance etc. One by one the obstacles are being torn down. Don’t buy a new boat – far too expensive and then you have to outfit it, buy a used one that is already outfitted and get it for one-third new price. But what type? Catamaran or monohull, we need four berths – could make do with three but four would be a lot better. What size? What price range? The obstacles are coming down, recently I called about travel insurance, or rather medical insurance for travelers, I was elated to discover the premiums are less than what we are paying now for insurance in the US. The school is easy, Susan is a certified teacher – she can do that, and get help through correspondence sources. Technology will help us stay connected.
As the conversation continued over the next few months, and we read everything we could find we plan and read and plan one by one the list of reasons not to go are becoming smaller and the reasons to go are becoming longer. We are both fed up with suburbia we want our space, away from the polluted society we are living in away from the constant “keep up with the Joneses” attitude where self worth is valued by the size house and type of car you drive not by the character of the person. Where polluted politicians dictate every element of our lives, and decisions are based on ties that bind rather than freedom to be, just to be, and to live to live completely and unashamedly.
Yes the dream is alive and well, and soon, real soon, we will be on our way, giving our children what many only aspire to, giving them the world. So that when I am that old man sitting on that porch, my mind will be filled with memories of Easter island, Tahiti, Grenada, diving for lobsters in the Bahamas, seeing my son become a man and keeping watch for the first time, and listening to them tell their children of the grand adventure his parents gave to him.
